These days, couples who cannot work things out in their marriage often end up getting a divorce and adding up to the increasing number of divorce cases in the United States. When couples who are in a rocky relationship ask the question ‘ is my marriage worth saving?’ they often answer ‘no’ because they only see the constant fighting, crying, misunderstandings, and loss of love that they are currently experiencing in their marriage.
However, the answer to this question is more difficult than this because you have to take into consideration other factors such as your kids, your investments in the relationship, and everything that you have experienced together as a couple.
Of course, you have loved your partner for a long time and it is possible that you still love him. This makes it even more difficult to answer the question ‘ is my marriage worth saving?’ To help you answer this question, you need to check out the following paragraphs that will give you the three things that you need to do before deciding to stay or leave.
- Evaluate yourself
You need to look at yourself first if you want to know if your marriage is worth saving or not. If you are really unhappy and you no longer feel any love toward your partner, only anger and disappointment, maybe it is time for you to end your marriage. You should also compare your current self to your previous self before the marriage. If you changed your identity and beliefs to make your relationship work, then you are probably in the wrong marriage.
Being in a relationship and being married does not mean giving up on who you are. In fact, it should be an opportunity for both of you to grow together without compromising your own identity and beliefs. It is important not to lose a part of yourself after getting married.
Once this happens, you will only feel bitter and disappointed because you have sacrificed a lot for the relationship. This could also cause fights and misunderstandings because you are expecting your spouse to do the same thing, which should not be the case.
- Evaluate your relationship
A marriage will only work if the two people involved are working together. It is important to evaluate your relationship and check if the two of you are working together as a team before you answer your question ‘is my marriage worth saving?’ A married relationship should not be about blaming and pointing fingers at the person who is at fault. It is about having an open line of communication with each other where you can share your thoughts and feelings honestly.
You should also have commitment to each other and to your relationship. Being committed means giving your best effort to make the relationship work and trying to avoid doing anything that can cause trouble. Love, respect, trust, and friendship should be present in a marriage. If you have none of these or if an important part is missing, such as love, then maybe you would be better off ending your relationship.
You can also ask the help of a counselor who can view your marriage objectively. The counselor will be able to identify the main reasons you and your spouse do not get along well.
- Evaluate your family
If you have kids, you should not just think about your own happiness but theirs as well. In some cases, it is better for the kids if their parents get a divorce instead of always seeing them fighting and being unhappy with each other. In most cases and according to studies, couples who stay together for the kids despite their differences make their children feel loved and prevent them from feeling insecure about themselves.
Marriage is never easy. If you find yourself asking the question ‘is my marriage worth saving?’ you should first evaluate yourself, your relationship, and your family before you make a final decision. Here is a great article on “is marriage worth saving for cheating husbands ?” that we highly recommend, it gives an in-depth insight on what goes through a matured woman’s mind.
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